So every once in awhile I like to share something I find, rather than something I think. And you guessed it, this is one of those times. The following is a rather profound piece by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, and I believe it is worth reading.
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
by
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.Used at this Web site with permission.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Invitation
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Nature of Relationships
So I'm back. Sorry it took me so long between posts, life's craziness and all that.
So today's thoughts center on relationships, and what they mean to different people. I find that my version of what a relationship "should be" and others notion of this same concept are quite often radically different if not directly contradictory. I wonder if this leads to the many divorces, the break ups, the general unhappiness exhibited by many people currently involved in relationships.
What if the secret to true happiness in your relationship is simply stating your expectations? And even further than this, if you state those expectations, and your partner is unwilling to meet them? Should you then leave? Should you try to re-evaluate what is important? Which becomes more important: meeting the expectations you walked in with, or staying with the person you love regardless?
Of course there is more than one facet to this question. Sometimes a partners unwillingness to meet simple expectations is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and other times, a persons willingness to simply give up their dreams, hopes, etc. is a sign of unhealthy dependence.
Should people state their expectations for a relationship from the start? What if those expectations change over time? And what to do when a partner is unwilling to meet the expectations, or hopes, whichever you choose to call them?
As always, I do have a trigger for this question, for this entire topic.
I consider myself to be a reasonable person, to have reasonable requests, and to recognize when I am being unreasonable. Given this, I keep a close eye on the requests I pose to my significant other. But sometimes (well most of the time really), this person will listen to what I say, seem to give it some thought, and then dismiss the request. It sent me to wondering if perhaps I am one of those dependent people, or maybe my requests are UNreasonable, which is possible.
So my main question this evening is when should someone realize that something is wrong? And what do they do about it? What would you tell a friend in a similar situation? What factors should be considered in matters of the heart?
Till next time.....keep thinking
So today's thoughts center on relationships, and what they mean to different people. I find that my version of what a relationship "should be" and others notion of this same concept are quite often radically different if not directly contradictory. I wonder if this leads to the many divorces, the break ups, the general unhappiness exhibited by many people currently involved in relationships.
What if the secret to true happiness in your relationship is simply stating your expectations? And even further than this, if you state those expectations, and your partner is unwilling to meet them? Should you then leave? Should you try to re-evaluate what is important? Which becomes more important: meeting the expectations you walked in with, or staying with the person you love regardless?
Of course there is more than one facet to this question. Sometimes a partners unwillingness to meet simple expectations is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and other times, a persons willingness to simply give up their dreams, hopes, etc. is a sign of unhealthy dependence.
Should people state their expectations for a relationship from the start? What if those expectations change over time? And what to do when a partner is unwilling to meet the expectations, or hopes, whichever you choose to call them?
As always, I do have a trigger for this question, for this entire topic.
I consider myself to be a reasonable person, to have reasonable requests, and to recognize when I am being unreasonable. Given this, I keep a close eye on the requests I pose to my significant other. But sometimes (well most of the time really), this person will listen to what I say, seem to give it some thought, and then dismiss the request. It sent me to wondering if perhaps I am one of those dependent people, or maybe my requests are UNreasonable, which is possible.
So my main question this evening is when should someone realize that something is wrong? And what do they do about it? What would you tell a friend in a similar situation? What factors should be considered in matters of the heart?
Till next time.....keep thinking
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Time
So its Halloween again. As I see all the kiddies running around, searching for a sugar high, and all the high school girls searching for boys to pant after them, I think about the nature of costumes and disguises.
This leads me to ponderings on identity and personality. Because don't we all wear disguises everyday? I watch personality shifts in people as they must deal with clientele, or their parents, or their friends. For each person, each set of people, the face changes, the body language modifies, and the behaviorism shifts. We all wear costumes, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes it is to hide ourselves from the world around us, other times it is to shield the world from what we know they would reject or fear.
I know I find that my facial expressions change, and my voice softens, my vocabulary refines itself, when speaking in class or with one of professors. I swear like a pirate with my friends, I talk like a hick with most of the customers at my work. Why do I do this? Because I am meeting what people around me expect.
In this aspect I believe that our identities and our personalities are as much a result of our environment as our interior dialogue. It is what makes us appear to be "well adjusted individuals".
On a tangent thought that has just occurred to me, is it not usually people who lack this fundamental adaptability that fail at life? When one cannot assess a situation, and come back with an appropriate response, isn't that failure?
So tell me, do you believe I am right? Do we modify, and hide ourselves for the sake of others, to fit into a mold that is expected? Are we role playing our entire lives? Grant me your thoughts.
Till next time.....just keep thinking.
This leads me to ponderings on identity and personality. Because don't we all wear disguises everyday? I watch personality shifts in people as they must deal with clientele, or their parents, or their friends. For each person, each set of people, the face changes, the body language modifies, and the behaviorism shifts. We all wear costumes, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes it is to hide ourselves from the world around us, other times it is to shield the world from what we know they would reject or fear.
I know I find that my facial expressions change, and my voice softens, my vocabulary refines itself, when speaking in class or with one of professors. I swear like a pirate with my friends, I talk like a hick with most of the customers at my work. Why do I do this? Because I am meeting what people around me expect.
In this aspect I believe that our identities and our personalities are as much a result of our environment as our interior dialogue. It is what makes us appear to be "well adjusted individuals".
On a tangent thought that has just occurred to me, is it not usually people who lack this fundamental adaptability that fail at life? When one cannot assess a situation, and come back with an appropriate response, isn't that failure?
So tell me, do you believe I am right? Do we modify, and hide ourselves for the sake of others, to fit into a mold that is expected? Are we role playing our entire lives? Grant me your thoughts.
Till next time.....just keep thinking.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Questions on Sexuality
So here is the back story on this post: I am 20 years old, I have been in a semi-stable, and very loving heterosexual relationship since I was about 15 or 16 depending on how you look at it.
However,
At about 14 I came to realize that the feelings I had towards other girls were not typical of my peers, and in fact they scared me, so much so that I repressed that tendency until the age of 17. At this point I admitted to some of my close friends that I believed I was bisexual, and over time to my parents.
My mother still believes its a phase, my father still doesn't really care.
Recently I have begun to find men less and less attractive. In fact, they are pretty gross. I find the only men that catch my attention could have the adjective "feminine" attached to them. I still love my boyfriend, and find him handsome, but if I didn't love him, he wouldn't catch my attention in a crowd.
So here comes my question: How does one know for sure what their sexual orientation is?
Is it a choice? Is it a biological destiny, or a combination of environment and biology? Or none of these? I don't just mean for me, but for everyone.
Let me know what you think.
Till next time....keep thinking.
However,
At about 14 I came to realize that the feelings I had towards other girls were not typical of my peers, and in fact they scared me, so much so that I repressed that tendency until the age of 17. At this point I admitted to some of my close friends that I believed I was bisexual, and over time to my parents.
My mother still believes its a phase, my father still doesn't really care.
Recently I have begun to find men less and less attractive. In fact, they are pretty gross. I find the only men that catch my attention could have the adjective "feminine" attached to them. I still love my boyfriend, and find him handsome, but if I didn't love him, he wouldn't catch my attention in a crowd.
So here comes my question: How does one know for sure what their sexual orientation is?
Is it a choice? Is it a biological destiny, or a combination of environment and biology? Or none of these? I don't just mean for me, but for everyone.
Let me know what you think.
Till next time....keep thinking.
Introduction
To all that have stumbled upon this blog: Welcome. I plan on this being a somewhat loose following of my journey through life, for however long I continue to blog. I will share my loves, my hates, my triumphs and my disappointments. Sometimes trivial, and sometimes profound, I will share my thoughts.
To those of you whom abhor controversy, discussion, or open minds, I advise you to read no more.
And to my kindred souls who will argue a point to the death, who want to know all points of view, and always think before judging, join me.
To those of you whom abhor controversy, discussion, or open minds, I advise you to read no more.
And to my kindred souls who will argue a point to the death, who want to know all points of view, and always think before judging, join me.
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